I’ve always thought of love as some platonic constancy of care and adoration,
Yet somedays I don’t love him at all.
It’s hard.
Sometimes I hate the person I am around him.
Caring deeply can make me so detestably petty.
I’ve never felt so humiliated in a relationship before,
My apathy towards the other people I’ve been involved with
Seems glamorous now.
It’s hard.
Sometimes I want him to go away,
Because I like myself better when he’s not there.
I’ve never felt understood by anybody.
I want that so much.
I hardly trust anybody.
I trust complete strangers over closest friends.
It’s hard.
It seems like at a certain point all my relationships
Dissemble into physicality.
I feel closest to him when we’re just lying together somewhere.
It makes me worry.
The toughest thing for me in the world is endings.
I’m struggling to keep this from being an end.
I have a horrible habit of engaging in relationships that last for 2 years.
The horrible factor is that at a certain point, I think I decide to give up
On the person and just stop trying. I think it often has little to do with the person.
It makes me worry.
I’m trying very hard to work on me.
But, it’s hard.
There's More...
Poisoning Pigeons in the park...
Slick As Hell.
