![[Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head...]](images/braids.JPG)
September 8, 2000
Today I saw the most stunning rainbow I have ever seen.The sun was setting and it was a bit cloudy despite the
101 degree heat earlier in the day.
The clouds were the color of Orange Sherbert,
And then there was this huge, brilliant rainbow.
I stood by the side of the rode and watched it until it faded
And little raindroplets hit my cheeks...
...That was the pretty part.
The ugly part is that I've gone corporate.
Since then, time passes in the most detached, peculiar way.
I'm beginning to see how people fritter away their lives
At desk jobs, becoming more numb and out of touch with things
As the weeks go by.
I figure that I'm doing this now so I won't have to when I'm 30.
The time passes so much more quickly when I assign myself
Important tasks like,
"Separate all the Large paper clips from the Smaller Ones"
and "Sharpen every pencil"
and "Get more pencils from the supply area."
I spend a lot of time on Ebay,
And I do a lot of reading -- It's always good to have time to sit
Down and read the Bible. I'm working for a publishing company,
So, there's lots of those lying around.
Mostly, I'm just bored out of my mind.
The most exciting parts of the day are when I'm eating.
Sometimes I eat Goldfish crackers, which is the human equivalent of Cat Kibble... And occasionally I'll eat in the Cafeteria;
The Food's good, but you cover a turd with chilli & cheese and you'll get People slurping the last of it off their fingers in an epicurian ecstacy... the chefs are definitely a little "Chilli Happy."
Usually, I go out to lunch with an illustrious work group composed of a few good people,
Unafraid to say the word "Cock."
It makes the day run more smoothly.
And speaking of things running smoothly, the corporate shit is a very interesting phenomenon.
To the average teenager, the idea of evacuating your bowels
Next to a known peer is grounds for traumatic nightmares;
Yet in the corporate world, you must get comfortable with the Knowledge that one day you will probably shit side by side with Your boss, hearing every last cheery plop, And then report back to them 10 or so minutes later to resume the rank and
There's so much Paper,
So much urgency placed on wholly unnatural things;
It's a training of the mind to a warped state,
A situation ripe for the development of exotic neurosis and
Ungodly Habits.
It's weird to be co-workers with people who could be the
Parents of my friends...
I used to have this idealistic notion of "The Adult World"
And it's a sad discovery that most grown-ups are just as Petty,
Gossipy, Nosy, Boring, Sniveling, And Irritating as kids...
...They just don't have the excuse of being young enough not to know any better.
Here's another gleaned secret: Offices are really just massive
Zones of heavy resource waste. Aside from all the paper lost in a
day, all the staples torn out or applied, all the pens left without
caps... most office workers get paid to do virtually nothing...
ALL DAY.
I thought it was just me.
Everyone else is on Ebay, too.
Hell, we're all trying to outbid each other from cubicle to cubicle.
It's crazy.
Mad waste.
These people get fat paychecks waiting around for the opportunity
To Be Useful.
On some days, the opportunity never comes and it's hours and hours of Minesweeper and Solitaire.
Who knew a desk job could be so dangerous?
For a Hardcore Pen Junky,
It's hard not to covet all the juicy little gems, waiting to be
Plucked from the free-for-all Supply Room.
All the Metallic Pilot Razor Points,
Every last Jelly Roller of every last color variety...
...I find myself sweating and glancing shiftily around every time I go past the supply shelves...
...Could they suspect me?
More fun and games to come...
But, if you're looking for fun and games to cum,
Go Here.
Until next time, Keep it Light on The Chilli.
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