April 16, 2000
This week is dedicated to anyone who has looked for love in all the wrong places -- especially online.People are funny about romance.
You argue that watching the intricate mating behaviors of the
Outer Mongolian Dirt Squirrel is top comedy... I say:
Read some personal ads.
About 3 months ago, I put out a personal ad for 3 reasons:
Material for the web pageI created an e-mail account solely
Curiosity
Remote possibility of meeting interesting people
for personal ad mail... and it filled up...
with some of the saddest,
funniest, most pathetic nonsense
it has ever been my pleasure to endure.
I have prepared a modest sampling of some of the responses...
a cruel, mocking salad of other people's thoughts,
coupled with their photos.
Not all the photos match the responses... (in fact, many are entirely fictitiously coupled.) and since I
have not asked permission from these folks to
smatter their words and likenesses about the world-wide...
I extend advance apology to anyone who feels injured and
invite them to e-mail their complaints...
(I'll take your stuff down, promise.)
Also, it's easy to merely mock others.
In the spirit of being a good sport, I'm posting my original ad...
which is just as lame and laughable as
the responses it generated. The Ad
And now, on with the mockery!!
Dear lyric i know your writing to females in this add but do you like guys also?
I'm safe havent dated
anyone in a lone time also I'm in military and women here have alot of problems.
All I CAN SAY IS YOU HOT and I would
like to meet you some time. Things i like to do is movies, cuddling , hanging out going to the mall going to funparks and yes if you safe i get real personal with my lover.
if you got a girlfriend on the side i dont care.
Date her too, I'll be long distance lover
for i can only see you when days permit in
the military world.
heres my pic hey maybe you like me . if not thanks for
letting me take your time reading my letter ps my name is DEMAN
write back soon
Hello; Hmmmm. Let me clear my throat.
Is it possible to be nervous online? Anyway, I am.
I saw a lot we could talk about and share. The one thing
that's making me nervous is-I'm 34- but believe me I way too often let the little kid in me flowing and bubbling forth ( and it depends on the person with me whether that person is a)embarrassed b) slightly amused c) or joining in the fun of life.
I feel that I've rambled a bit too much. Chao.
Send me a nude pic of you.lucylawl@aol.com and i'll send one back.
then we'll talk.
Hiya! We are a hard-working professional couple, searching for bi-curious or bi-females to play with... we love to travel (we'll be in Las Vegas Apr. 22-27, and Los Angeles Apr 27.- May 2), go boating, camping, swimming (skinnydipping.. mmm.), snowmobiling. dining out, and well.. of course, sex! He's 27, 5'11", blonde/brown eyes, football
player build.. she is 26, 5'4", long blonde hair/brown eyes, 140lbs. If you are a fun-loving girl with a great sense of humor, and are bi or bi-curious - send us a note - we'd love to talk, exchange info/pics, and meet.. maybe more.. You never know! Drop us a line!
Amy and Dennis
Hi there would you like to trade self pics It's funny. People give out photos and phone numbers and sexual propositions to complete strangers without hesitation. I guess that's the thrill of the web for most J-random users. Everyone doctors up the best photo of themself they can find to shoot around the web, yet somehow think that the photos they get back are "the real thing"... my skepticism probably prevented me from dating a super model here:
Hi there, My name is Gino, and I thought your picture looked really nice.
I am 24 years old and I live in Santa Monica. I am Italian, 6' blk hair, brn eyes, 150. Anyways, here is my pic. I am a model. Let me know what you think! and if you're still interested in hooking up, please give me an e-mail........my new email
address is: GinoUCLA@hotmail.com Thanks
my response:
Dear Gino,
Judging from the picture you sent me, I'd assume you're some sort of underwear model... and I'd guess that you're more interested in men than in women. But, hey... I'll try not to jump to assumptions. Anything you'd like to know about me is probably answered on my web page:
http://www.geocities.com/silencebellows
Andrasta.
WuZ Up, my name is Pocahontas, i'm 22 Bi Curious, Looking for someOne cute Like u,
i stay with my Boyfriend were in LA by USC.
umm what can i tell u about me i love go to female Clubs,
i 'm Puerto Rican, i look Like Pocahontas. so write be Back!
Hi there. I just want to say I find you exquisite and breathtaking. If you have a sense of humor to match, and like travel and adventure, we should probably talk. Would you be interested in having a sugar daddy who can assist you with financial matters. Just curious.
I am a nice guy who enjoys all sports. Especially horseback riding and skiing. I also like to take in some occasional theatre. I love travel and adventure. I am 6'1 195, dark curly hair. I am a lot younger than you
probably think.
I hope we can talk soon.
Andrew
There were some good...
and some really bad...
But mostly, it was a bunch of every day folks desperately seeking some romantic online fantasy...
..and saying some very silly things in the process.
we are looking for a bi f for 3 some??
I love to hang out party and do wild and crazy things. Do you
have any interest in clubbin?
damn baby your blazin i am interested in getting to know you so
if you are interested holla at me . here is my pic.
hi there!! my name is michael and i am 43 years young. i am tall, tan, and handsome.
i am fit, intelligent, and funny. i live in oregon. please write me. waiting. bye
saw your profile thing, im amy in oc 23 into punk music being a punk and hanign out at laundrey shops, i dunno are u bi? if your gay get back to me, later amy
send me nude pics -- Bc9900@aol.com
People admit the most humiliating things in personal ads -- we're apologetic yet hopeful. It's simultaneously contemptible and endearing. Cheers to the late night lonely folk!
Go Home
This site is always under construction.
Email:
Silence Bellows@yahoo.com
Bent, not broken.
Anywhere you hang yourself Is home
